Cooper Cronk has put in a performance that Roosters skipper Boyd Cordner says will "go down in history".

This statement was in response to how Cooper Cronk -the Sydney Roosters half back -played the NRL grand final with a fractured scapula. Whilst this sporting courage can be admired it can also send the wrong messages to some men - prioritize winning, exhibit dominance and take risks.

 

Men are not all the same and many men saw Cronk’s performance as purely sporting behaviour but unfortunately many other men consider Cronk’s actions as not just sport related but the epitome of masculinity. The rise in domestic violence immediately after sporting grand final losses attests to this extension of manhood and dads in particular need to think about this.

The expression it takes a village to raise a child is particularly important. Children model their behaviours from their same sex parent and who and what that parent admires or admonishes is a critical part of a child’s learning.

 

Grandfathers, male teachers, sportsmen, uncles, brothers, male friends, are all role-modelling behaviour that little boys imbue into their lives and fathers are the gate keepers to that critical learning. As fathers, men need to decide for themselves’ what masculinity is rather than tolerate a prescribed toxic.

The toxics are man-made. We all know that natural is better than artificial for health and prescribed behaviour ALWAYS causes anxiety that can lead to depression and sadly suicide.

 

Ditch the man made for:

 

• taking risks when you can afford to lose what you are risking;
• prioritize winning when it pertains to an activity rather than life and
• exhibiting dominance when it is appropriate not because you think it is expected.

 

As a Dad associate masculinity with:

 

• personal decision making rather than adherence to a toxic;
• model behaviour that you want your sons to have and your daughters demand and
• humour, conviction, tenderness and kindness -both to yourself and others.
• Ironically, deciding to do what you want rather than what appears to be masculine requires the real strength. Unshackling from a list immediately removes anxiety. we know it will not be a quick transition as behaviours are slow to develop and slower to replace.

 

Simple strategies include:

 

• Schedule a health check annually -it is not weak to enquire about your health. You would have no issue if it were a legal or financial problem -your health trumps everything.
• Write or record what you feel. Get your phone, open notes or recorder and write or record a few words. No one has to know but venting pain, anger, sorrow or joy is extremely powerful for mental and physical health. Women do this with friends and family but really all women are doing is venting -because the other person has a life!
• Consciously choose your battles -restrict your effort to important issues like family. Create a method to slow you down -count, walk away, write, leave the situation.
• Improving on the old man made.

 

Next week …. Anger is pain

 

 

 

 

Movember Man Made

Disclaimer

The article below is for informational purposes and is not intended to replace professional advice. For health related information please consult a health professional prior to commencing any program including a exercise or dietary program.

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