The Fight Lab - Articles

Good looks, social status, brains, charm, wit, financial independence, powerful, social and emotional intelligence are what makes male sex symbol right? Well no.

These are the benchmarks men use to evaluate their social exchange. That is if a man perceives he is a seven out of ten, he is likely to date a six, seven or eight - no higher, or he will feel insecure and out of his league, and no lower, because he will feel as if he is slumming. This summing up method is used a lot by men in other parts of their lives like status, work, virility, physical appearance, providing for family etc. Women use social exchange too but rejection and failure are felt much more by men and contributes to anxiety and depression.

Movember is a whole month in the year when men can focus on themselves with impunity and get better at adopting strategies. To tackle anxiety and depression we first need to consider what causes it.

Anxiety is one of the most common health conditions in Australia. For men, anxiety is even more common than depression – 1 in 5 men will experience anxiety at some point. 1
Adherence to masculine rules that require emotional control and being masculine to attract women, appear dominant and . successful are connected to increased anxiety and depressive and symptoms. 2

Men are functional processors – ‘it’s all about what I need to do to tackle the problem.’ Men spend less time considering the relationship of the parts to achieve the goal. This explains why men feel more confident with technology because they know what each part can do -not the same with humans! So, change the dialogue in your head to what is there rather than what you think is there!

Instead think:

taking risks is ok but only when I decide not when society expects me too;

being self-reliant is important but depending on others is smart when they have skills I don’t have;

avoiding behaviours and characteristics associated with femininity needs review. Not all ‘feminine’ behaviour is exclusive to women – seeking help is not feminine;

the need to control emotions is nonsense because violence is emotion so let the other emotions out;

having power over women is insecurity and that causes anxiety. Instead, nurture trust because that provides pleasure;

prioritize winning creates anxiety instead chose your battles and don’t sweat the small stuff;

exhibiting dominance is another anxiety builder ask why that is important and to who?

maintain primacy of work is more beneficial to the employer than you. Work is an entity and you are a resource that can be replaced so keep that in perspective;

pursuing status has a small audience -too much effort for not enough gain

embracing violence is just ridiculous.

What really makes a male sex symbol is a man that is self-deprecating, has no ego or narcissism -the guys you can’t believe women like. The man that is confident in himself whatever himself is.

1 Australian Bureau of Statistics. (2008). National Survey of Mental Health and Wellbeing: Summary of Results, 2007. Cat. no. (4326.0). Canberra: ABS.

2 Development of the Conformity to Masculine Norms Inventory James R. Mahalik, Benjamin D. Locke, Larry H. Ludlow, and Matthew A. Diemer Boston College Ryan P. J. Scott University of Georgia Michael Gottfried Valparaiso University Gary Freitas University of Maryland 2003.

Next week …….Man Made

Movember Sex symbol

Disclaimer

The article below is for informational purposes and is not intended to replace professional advice. For health related information please consult a health professional prior to commencing any program including a exercise or dietary program.

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